Looking Back


Since the onset of Spring, I’d set my intention to organize, clean up, clear out and inventory all of the tons of stuff I’ve managed to accumulate over the past few years that was cluttering up my parents house.

Of course, Summer being my professional “busy season,” getting around to actually acting on my intention was easily & consistently put off.

Simply looking at the monumental work load ahead that was intended for me to make something of myself, was really overwhelming. I avoided it seamlessly by picking up a few things here & there– pinning them together & dancing around in front of the mirror totally lost in my magic nation land.

So, when I saw my favorite color [orange]  bursting brightly in flame filled fashion from my bedroom– I felt fear, panic and relief. With all that stuff burnt to a crisp, I would have been free to start over. Which may have been easier…

Once my Dad had squelched the flames with his handy dandy fire extinguisher and it was safe to approach my former sanctuary, I did. Everything I felt was in my lungs. At that moment, I’d been doing a fantastic job staying away from the ciggy’s. The whole thing was like a welling up that once again I managed to avoid releasing.

Breathing was difficult with the still smoke filled air. My Sister & Brother did a great  job keeping it cool, while still ensuring  that the moment was just as dramatic as it was deserving of. The smoke had a thick texture to it that I felt filling up my pores as it quickly  took over my lungs and taste buds.

The fire extinguisher left behind it’s own flavors that even at this moment make my mouth turn.

What was used to put out the fire cause more damage, stuck around a lot longer and proved to be way more difficult to clean up after than the fire itself.

Looking around my room was one of the strangest experiences ever.

My bedroom, is how I’d come to identify my Self. Its contents directly reflected the rapid changes that I mySelf, have been going through over the past few years. It, like me, experienced an onslaught of one transitory phase after the next. Swift as the swing of the pendulum.     Now this.
In it was everything I’d created, worked for & cherished. It was my office, my study, my place of practice, my studio, where I slept, the space I shared with My Love Trey. In essence– the one place in the world where I could go for solitude.

In one quick instant FIRE!!

Without even considering how long I’d spend sleeping on the floor of my Sister’s room, only to move onto the couch (a step down in comfort), I was overwhelmed knowing that the one thing I’d been clutching onto was no longer there. Serves me right, I’m sure.

Shockingly, not too much was damaged or destroyed. Sure sign that the universe intends to keep me on my path. Even more surprising was how little I cared for the contents– my collections, my works, my everything. I couldn’t care less about it. Looking around, seeing it all in its new smokey state. My thought was What’s here that I couldn’t be without? Nothing.

I still had to deal with it.

Deal with it I did. Moved everything out. Littered up the rest of the household. Finally got  down to work!

Before the fire cleanly clutter is what I lived in. After the fire I took a minimalist approach. Sort of.

Inventoried & organized my way through August and early September. Spent two lovely Sunday’s making a SPLASH at the Logan Square Farmers Market. One Sunday being rained on, networking & getting noticed at The Vintage Bazaar.

Getting acclimated with the fine art of selling. Seeing my stuff off to new owners. Making frequent trips to the thrift store to make deposits. Picking up new items to suit my new Life. All good things.

My wardrobe is the finest example of my most recent transition. I’ve taken on a uni-formal approach. Sort of. A much nicer route for one with a  creative mind. Not having a closet busting with options makes room for more constructive thoughts.

Father finally came to agree that the closet doors weren’t worth having any longer. Finally.

I write now in the living room of my family cottage on Big Blue Lake, Michigan. Here, I will stay until at least Thanksgiving. My campaign for Thanksgiving at the cottage commenced.

A step in my own direction, sort of. After going through everything the most logical conclusion was to do something constructive with it. As I’d intended to do long ago. Most of what was kept is to be made into something.

Looking for work anywhere is not an easy task. Living with my parents causes me to feel blockage whenever I consider taking on a large creative endeavor. (Like mySelf).

My desire is to be a designer. More than that. Upon first playing with the idea, my mind kept being drawn back to the sort of lifestyle that should be promoted along with the goods. The clothing only being a method for promoting this lifestyle. This blog is another.

My first task was to dive into the way of being. Plenty of experience was gained there. Still, I toil. And, I am glad for where I am at.

Saturday morning, hurried 40 mile per hour winds met me again & knocked the new pontoon boat into the dock which set its pieces loose to float away on their own.  I threw on my boots and ran off after the dock. It would have made more sense to simply strip down.

Wet all the way up to my thighs & with the water being warmer than the air I decided to just go under. BRRRRR, was it chilly!! Took some talking into too.

Afterward was amazing! Once I got over being cold, I was HOT!! Felt so good, all day long.

The winds are a changin’!
No question about that.

: )

Rosa Parks

Greetings!

To all of YOU still checking in–

Summer got pretty heated up there for a minute. Last I posted was when my room was set ABLAZE in a not so destructive, definitely moving & shaking sort of way.

There were great visions of sharing with you all of the potential ways that my room was strategically laid out to BLOW UP like a tinder box. Thanks, Dad!!

I have never seen that man move so fast.

The actual occurrence of flames sprouting out from my bedroom was pretty dramatic.Very orange. There was a lot of yelling

FIRE!! FIRE!!

Fire sure will get ya goin’.

Wanna know how it happened?

Soooo-

The morning of the fire I woke up what felt to be on my own accord, to see the trees outside being blown down to a 45 degree angle by some pretty swift winds.

Earlier this Spring, I took a page from Sister’s book & flipped mySelf around in the bed on a permanent basis. Sleeping with my head at the foot. Simply to switch things up a bit.

This made it so that my pillow view was directly out both windows. A welcomed change from the closet & wall.

The cat adjusted quickly. Which was rather disappointing. My hope was to trick him so that we could cuddle. Instead of our usual battle over the space towards where ever I choose to put my legs & body center.  The only spooning to take place in this relationship happens at the curvature of my knee. He really does like it there. 80 percent of his body has to be touching mine in order to reach satisfaction. The tail counts for about 15.

Moving right along now– these angry winds (accompanied by some surprising light rain) took out trees all over town & right along with ’em went the Power. Hence, my playing around in the Kids Section.

Side note: Libraries & schools (I’ve noticed) are typically built near hospitals with separate Power sources attached. Allowing for necessary public facilities to continue to function when the rest is without. Loss of electricity gives good incentive to hit it up the Public Power Pool.

With no electricity, the fire alarms in my house do a funny periodical check in. Safety first, kinda thing? That morning while working to pull mySelf together the blaring sound amplifying over head became too much to bare.

So I pulled it. Struggled with it to remove its juice. Upon reaching my victory, I sat with the silence for a moment and considered the potential repercussions that it might cause. Finally, concluding that of all the days in my personal history, there had yet to be fire & the chances of there actually being one on this very day was unlikely at best. Threw my prize down & booked it to the Book House.

The entire storm lasted maybe 11 minutes. It’s presence certainly did wake me, there was no other reason to wake @ 7:25 on my day off (Monday). My early riser Self has a tendency to stay in slumber until at least 8:00.

Somehow, even without major rains to accompany its brief passing, the day was HOT! Muggy, tiring, difficult to move through, quick movements were physically draining.

Once night fell the world was dark and sticky.

This made me sleepy.

To Be Continued…

Your DIY journey begins by Doing

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My Diary Angel

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July will be better for writing. Right now I’m DIYing.

It certainly is not as terrifying

How once i worried it would be.

+

Once you hit a major a propulsion

keep moving,

Allow for simple motions

to guide you towards a

destination

.

Failure is not

an option

.

: )  ( :

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Steady Support System

Interestingly enough, it is impossible to move forward unless the established groundwork is solid.

For example, one cannot cross over a river on a bridge that has not yet been built.

The focus recently has been on support & structure. All too often people are pushing forward on ground that is surely to collapse beneath them.

For some years now, I have been watching this happen before my eyes. At times I have even had no choice but to take part in it. Always to my own chagrin.

It has been driving me mad all this time to see others strive towards change, to talk up big game, and to force  themselves into an uphill battle on the very same platform that causes them such grief in the first place.

is AnyOne willing to stop & consider the basis of their actions?

Last year, I was SO upset by this. I felt it was my obligation to point out the world’s misguided direction.  My actions to get people to see what they were doing now seem childish. I practically threw temper tantrums as a 24 year old. Feeling that I had the right answer made me so angry at what was going on,  that my [energies in motion] made it impossible for me to communicate the solution.

In hindsight,  it was an embarrassment to be me. Even more so than it was to be the person or persons who were unknowingly doing wrong.

More importantly, I realize now that it got me nowhere. Furthermore, it only pushed those who I was reaching out to, to do just as they were doing all the more.

In building the cme brand the one thing that is most often considered is its structure.

cme‘s focus is on WHY to do, and HOW to do. To act in accordance with its underlying & overarching values. What actually comes from that is of little importance compared to the mindful steps that are taken to produce it.

I care nothing of making clothes. My wish is to inspire transformation from the inside out!

cme is intended to enrich our lifestyle.

That’s why I’m starting with me!

Ladies & Gentleman,

Thank you, for your patient understanding while Carles blog takes some well deserved time out to reinvigorate the senses.

Progress is fully underway.

Exciting goodness is just around the corner!!!

‘Til then here are a few photo’s to hold you over….

 

Spring in mind

Snow has been falling from the sky for days now. Suddenly tulips popped up!

 

Ever-lutionary Living Quarters

Another current project is to Behance my portfolio.

 

Black & White, still incorporates grey

This guy- Trey!!

 

fashionably, cozy

Axis of Evelyn has joined in collaboration with Post 27.

Go to the near West Side store whenever you’d like & check out the goods–

Give Evelyn a heads up & she’ll gladly meet you there to

style your shape & personality.

: ) ( : CME : ) ( :

Aligned with Carles Blog renovations & posting my portfolio on-line, I have decided to take on a Self Promotion Project.

Life will move much easier in the long run, if time is wisely used at present to plan & prepare.

Already, it is racking my brain.

It causes me to think drawn out thoughts about the position of people my age, in America, who went to college with big expectations & are now disappointed by  not receiving the intended return — IT’S OKAY!!!

I’m not judging you for working the cash register at Whole Foods or for serving my drinks at the bar. Everyone needs to make $$$ to take care of at least the necessities. Making $$$ is a struggle. On that note: Don’t judge yourself!

Don’t judge others for doing what’s best by them, either. I chose my path long before I ever even went to college. This crazy economic state has actually provided me with the perfect circumstances to live out my dreams. Though, life isn’t a fantasy.

There is an extended version of my thoughts on the way, as soon as I make some more headway on the Self Promotion Project. For now, relax. Do something that makes you feel good about being you & that has absolutely nothing to do wit the material world.

: )

 

To move forward properly, one must first reflect on the accomplishments, set-backs & personal actions that have marked the path to the spot one currently stands.

-Wow, I’m being poetic this evening.

For me, 2010 was filled with career advancing endeavors. My mentality was to accept any opportunity that came my way. Plenty sure did.

From it all, I know that I enjoy being active & involved. I get a very strong sense that people are willing to work together. So many people have great ideas that they are springing into action!

And, that from this step forward it is my personal promise to myself to take more time to ensure my own personal well being. Too often people (myself included) become caught up in getting it done. Only to relieve its stressors by quaffing down some heavy beverage.

I firmly believe that if this mentality was unanimously adopted far & wide that many of the problems we struggle against will magically release themselves from our lives.

2010 was astrologically said to be a year of gathering resources.

What have you gained this year?

CME2010RESUME

To see what I was up to in a highly abbreviated, bullet point format- click the link above for a PDF version of my 2010 resumé.

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