Fantasy Worthy Men

Dandyism: a literary and  artistic style of the latter part of the 19th century marked by artificiality & excessive refinement.  A well dressed man. A fop.

Devendra Banhart

Dandyism was Steven’s response to the post on Sexy Suits, written in his honor.

At first, I felt that he was put off by the post & that the word dandy was in reference to being characterized as homosexual.

Not true! Necessarily. Dandyism is in reference of men, who take extra particular care to their way of dress. In research for this post I learned that a more current representation of this is Hippie Glam.

Devendra Banhart shown here, is an example of this.

The boho/hippie look certainly appears to be making its presence known once again in our culture. I feel that it was just here.

Which is a surprising juxtaposition to this dandy little trend that we’re seeing. Especially, when combined with the fact that cloaks are HUGE right now. Why?!? Is this a surprising juxtaposition?

Dressing to a meticulous degree, or to dawn a cloak is to give off an aura of sophistication. Try wearing a cloak for a day and see for yourself just what your are able to do: not much.

Hippies on the other hand dress for practicality. Or so that their skirts will swirl when dancing.

The current trend of dressing up, makes me think that people are tired of working hard, tired of being broke and just plain damn tired of being tired.

Which is totally cool with me. I’ve been holding down the sophisticated style this whole time. I never quite understood why hipsters wanted to dress like they were bums.

For me, it’s about the future. Dress for what you’d like to be, for how you’d like to be.

That goes for everything, not just clothes.

Call upon the future, don’t dwell.

It just might get you somewhere!

: ) ( :



Meet Chuck Bass

Dear friend–  Steven, has been talking a lot lately about changing up his look.

The other night while sitting in a dimly lit, local watering hole, I saw a glimpse of Chuck Bass in Steven & thought: WOW! There’s real opportunity here!

Of course, Steven, whose biggest influence is Carl Jung had no idea what Gossip Girl, or who Chuck Bass is. We like him better that way anyhow.

The only show that I make a point to watch each week is Gossip Girl.

Why? Because it’s sexy.

Each & every ensemble that blesses my television screen is absolutely spectacular! Not to mention the drama. Oh! The Drama!

The show itself has had a major impact on the way girlies in America dress themselves, I’m sure of it. Simply do a Google search for Gossip Girl fashion blogs. You’ll quickly get a clear sense of its impact.

Last season, I attended a Chicago Gossip Girl Blog launch & premier party. The blog was designed almost in protest of all of the fashion blogs that have popped up around the show & was intended to simply be a discussion forum for fans of the show.a.k.a. Ed Westwick

[I would not suggest attending a party to watch the season premier of your favorite show].

Gossip Girl is my weekly planned alone time. It’s also TiVo’d, so commercial set-backs are eliminated.

Watching football with a group of people might be fine for those who watch football. But, it’s a terrible thing to mentally drown out noise from the bar & to move your head around in an effort to avoid late comers while your favorite show is on-screen.

Steven’s expressed ideas about picking a character to be and to be that character for a period of time. A good idea! (Potentially pricey).

He’s also expressed intentions of professionalizing his appearance. Something that apparently left his brain as quickly as it came. Last I checked, that idea no longer applied.  Very sad.

Steven is merely the inspiration for this post. And, a damn good excuse to spend some time sifting through the internet in search of sexy pictures of Chuck Bass a.k.a. Ed Westwick. Really, one shouldn’t need an excuse. He is a Fantasy Worthy Gent! [Though sometimes a spark helps to get one moving in a good direction].

black is always sexy

According to some of the Spring/Summer 2011 runway shows I’ve seen recently the Power Suit is back in business babay! WOO HOO!

Only this time, it’s not just for men. Actually, Alexander McQueen has women wearing the suit of power. The soundtrack to the show makes it worth watching more than once.

The power suit, does not have to include shoulder pads, nor does it have to be strictly dark colors. Vibrant colors of darker shades is a must.

Power suits should be worn by men & women alike– After checking in on what’s to come, I couldn’t help but think the sort of respect Hillary Clinton would have drummed up had she worn a power suit vs. a pant suit.

The necessary point to grab from this argument, is that it’s time to exude a true sense of power. Let’s learn to be chic.

According to Chuck Bass & Henry Miller power = being Fearless.

Back to the story at hand…

It’s great that a character dressed as Chuck Bass, has decided to grace America’s pop-culture.

He is just what young men need to know that it is perfectly OKAY to get away from the gray.

I love grey! Still, it’s kinda boring & actually quite sad. To see a sea of it on a regular basis is enough to drive a person to wear pink!

He’s also a good example that men can have fun with their wardrobe, just as women do!

Harper Bazaar SEXY!

All too often, men are stuck in the same pant & button down routine. It’s boring!!

From a rhetorical perspective, it makes me think that men are oppressed when it comes to being accepted by fashion.

Though, if you look out for the shapely shorts men will be wearing this Spring, you’ll get a glimpse of what appears to be a Manly Fashion Revolution. Ya, man leg!

This look,  has really already been fully accepted by plenty of men. Many of whom ride bikes, love their own hot asses and have decided to cut off their skinny jeans into short-shorts, so that the world can have a full on gander at their rockin’ bods.

Clemence Poesy

Of course, if you have a rockin’ bod, than you should show it off! This gal here is Clemence Poesy. French actor & model who had a guest appearance on Gossip Girl, earlier this season.

She’s the sort of good lookin’ lady who doesn’t always look fabulous. Not that she’s unkempt, but from certain angles her good looks vanish. Actually, she’s the sort of looker who looks slightly different each time you see her.

These pictures have been added simply for the sake of looking at them….


still gorgeous, but see the difference?


Steven, is possibly the only man in my world who is both straight & willing to move beyond the typical man look. I know plenty of men willing to dress up like women & usually out-do me in putting together a flashy evening ensemble, but those men don’t count.

Straight men need to be given the tools to step out and to play with their wardrobe. Hipster boys don’t count either!

I am a big fan of the deep cut V-neck shirt, but only if the guy wearing it has the chest hair to back it up. Most don’t.

What I really would like to push here is well-dressed men.

: )

Men who will play dress-up just as good as any girl!!!

What I would give to see a reddish brown suit on the street…


By good, I mean with confidence. By confidence, I mean to do so comfortably.

Women are instructed to move away from the business look on date night.

However, it would be astonishing if a guy were to move beyond the simply button down, striped & collared, and added on a suit jacket.

This has been done, yes. I typically see it on men in the mid 30’s + range. Rarely, is the suit jacket intended for evening wear. If it is, the jacket is black velvet. [Wah, wah]. That only lasts for so long…

Once, I caught a real live glimpse of a blue velvet suit coat via. Axis of Evelyn. Actually, I played a strong hand in selling that to the husband of a major local gallery owner. He looked large & in charge with this jacket on, even wearing white washed jeans! Plus, it was right before Christmas.

[Blue velvet has been an awesome addition to the holidays in the past few years, it’s really really great for NYE!]

A hint of 70's

Suits, suits & more suits…

Another way to sexy up a man, is to throw on a bandanna. It’s been a growing trend in the hippy world for both men & women. This pic here shows how you can class it up.

Change up that tie for a bandanna in the summer!



While my brainstorming process is coming along nicely, I thought that to stay in the habit I’d give you all a taste of what I’m getting into when not thinking about this blog, my professional image, the CME brand, or anything other work related.


Colors closely resemble what we can expect to see this Spring/Summer

Can’t work hard all the time.

This guy gets me

I’ve also taken to reading the Tropic of Capricorn, the story Henry Miller wrote after he became the sort of person we all wish to be.

Lady Taste Makers or Fashion Dictators?

Still, as no matter how far off I wander I can’t help but to notice just how greatly all of this is connected.



As hard as I try to not be, I will always be- BOY CRAZY!

It’s hard not to slip off into a daydream when the weather is crappy & life is hard! So, can you really blame me?

After a serious bout of self-inflicted celibacy (still in action) I learned from a book found in my doctor’s office that it’s actually very unhealthy to be celibate.


Because the pineal gland is essential to proper function of the body. And its proper function is essential to obtaining maximum LIFE energy!

Without regular use the pineal gland will stop functioning properly & begin draining energy from the rest of the 7 glands in the body.



Hm, Seven? (it’s a magic number!)

Draining energy from any one of the seven glands drains energy from each and every other gland in the body. Therefore, causing the entire body to function on less energy– opening the gates for a wide variety of health and mental problems. Not to mention the inability to reach enlightenment.

It was quite a moment when I went to pick up the Tao of Sexology, which was delivered to a library near me thanks to SWAN. The woman behind the desk was kind and certainly didn’t look judgmental. Still, I could tell that there was something on her mind.

One of the points that the book makes is that fantasizing can lead to schizophrenia. Uh Oh!

Somebodies in trouble. (ME!) : )

So, I’m going to work at not daydreaming. Which will be difficult because I LOVE TO!

Imagination is not bad– it’s GREAT! It’s my lack of it that is posing a problem.

Imagination is more important than knowledge.

-Alfred Einstein

My power to control the direction of my thought has shown signs of improvement.

Like smoking though, I let myself just do it, during those times when I convince myself that I am not strong enough to not do so. Or, when I am at a loss for other ways to occupy my time. It is during these times that I feel an insurmountable lack of control.

On top of not wishing to suffer any severe mental disorders– daydreaming does pose a number of set-backs when it comes to real life. Fantasizing regularly makes it difficult to detach from. Imagination land is not real. And real life is hardly ever as fantastic as the places I escape to in my head. Even they are starting to fall short of my actual aspirations…

Either way, I’ve recently been introduced to a new Fantasy Worthy Gentleman.

His name: Yannis Philippakis, lead singer of Foals.



A Greek Jew! Just what I need. Tradition + Tradition + One long history after another.

There is a good reason why I choose to keep certain men at a thoughts distance.

How can one focus on personal transformation with centuries worth of tradition bearing its weight?

And, ever since meeting a person whose presence forced me to imagine myself dawning white & walking down an aisle with a bundle of flowers– there is one thing I determined.

My wedding will be intimate.

On top of needing room to grow into my own, I left the last bloak b/c he was Greek & small weddings are not an option. (Not really, but the weight of such thoughts did bear heavily upon me. We parted for real reasons– like the fact that marriage is something I don’t want in my life right now & a serious relationship with discussions of such matters also falls into the category of things that my life can do without. And, his long line of tradition was at constant battle with my transforming self.) Ah, love!

Check out this AWE some video with my newest fantasy fave!

Do you think the videographer is alluding to anything by the depiction of the icy sea & the starlets eyes?

The eyes are the window to soul you know.

Yannis gets a GOLD star for being the youngest fantasy worthy gent to hit the list so far.


Oh, you should know that there are plenty of practices that engage the pineal gland which do not involve sex or masturbation.  The book doesn’t necessarily cover them.

Yoga does however. In-line with the Tao, yoga ignites the chakras by activating the locks within’ the body. Now if I can just keep up with my practice as intended everything will be splendid.

: )


Working Bikes commonly uses the term bait bike.

Bait bike: (n). a. bicycle used to lure in potential bicycle donors. b. a sign to inform bicycle donors on where to make the drop. c. a bicycle used to lure potential bicycle thieves.

[In Detroit it’s a common belief that to steal a bicycle, is to steal from a child. Making bicycle theft almost null and void in that city.]


After my first ride, I’ve coined a new definition for the term.

Bait bike: (n). a bicycle that lures in men to have a look.

What a beauty!

synonym: chick magnet.

CARLY likes men!

The extra fork is the bright idea of Working Bikes lead mechanic, Aaron Brown, to scare away potential thieves. [More work].

This is apparently impressive. It also adds at least an extra 5 lbs. And works to better secure my super huge front basket. [Yay!]

Having three baskets provides plenty of room to act as a receptacle for people to use in order to dispose of their waste. Or, as in the case of a ride with the Midnight Marauders, an alternative to the ground as place to dispose of empty beer cans.

Providing guys with a fabulous reason to ride up to you (me)!!

While working to promote something that I already work diligently towards.

There is no away to throw something away.

Upon first being presented with my Man Magnet, I was also given an explanation as to why there were garbage bags stuffed into one of its back baskets: People are going to use it as a garbage can.

Oh boy! Do they ever!!

Before my bike was commonly referred to as the BEAST. [It is a freakin’ beast.]  Now, it’s truly made a place in my life by earning itself two new names: Man Bait & Man Magnet.


With all the extra weight I’m pedaling around, before long these legs will be better man bait too!


Fishermen are always looking for a shinier lure to assist in their manliness by helping them to catch a bigger fish.

My Grandma has a BIG catch mounted on the wall at the Lopata Family Life Enrichment Center.

I did in fact recycle all of the smelly beer cans from my baskets. Two were still full from the ones that my friends and I were pulling from. [Yay!] These were donated to the gentleman of Canal Port. They were still slightly chilled thanks to the shaded area my bike was left the morning before.

[I ditched the ride at 4:30A, once there was finally an EXIT at McCormick Place.]

Last Saturday’s ride was of the city’s underground.

It was a blast!

: )

My love just left me. He waited in bed for over an hour and once he realized there was little chance of getting near me he took off to find his own adventure.

So, on with the fantasy!

Wayne Coyne

If you are going to fantasize about a man, than you might as well fantasize about a man who can cook up a good fantasy on his own.

Flaming Lips front man Wayne Coyne is just that person!

Check out his artwork, listen to any Flaming Lips album,(his artwork is most likely there),  indulge in an interview, check out a show! Flaming Lips have a cult following for very obvious reasons once you’ve experienced their live performance.

This video here gives you a pretty good feel for the whole sha-bang!


In order to better inform, I linked the Wikipedia page on Mr. Coyne.

In the process,  learned that he too is a Capricorn- just like yours truly!

He’s married, of course.

Still, I would like to note that Caps are pretty much the only sun signs with a good chance for intermingled relationship success. Thanks to our unmatched determination to make things work.

lead on

I’m partial to a man who has a defined personal style. It’s really amazing to find a guy who likes to play dress up to an extent that at least compliments my own. There’s plenty of gay boys or bro’s who dress up but are nowhere near approachable. Gay boys for obvious reasons, bro’s usually have dense ego’s and are no fun beyond the glance. Momentary fantasies can be cooked up here. Visualizing what it would be like just to walk next to this neatly dressed dude for a minute.

Wayne is commonly seen wearing the suit. If there is a tie chances are it won’t be tied up, signifying the casual attitude of the man dawning it. The first rule to being well dressed (unless you’re seriously high fashion and of the notion that sacrifice is quintessential) is to be comfortable.

just be yourSelf!

Curls, beards, butts and brown eyed brunettes are what draw me in! Oh! And older men. His grey curly’s only signify a higher level of maturity.

Let’s face it, ladies (for the most part) aren’t all about just doing the damn thang! When it comes to really going at it, the pillow talk is just as important as the orgasmic blow-out.

This goes back to our inherent nature of choosing just the right male to help us carry on our genes. Women get one egg each month. Men are almost limitless in the amount of potential’s they create. Once we have chosen it takes us 9 months and then some before we can get another go at reproducing again. Where as men, can blow and go. (hehe) So, females naturally have to have higher standards than males do.

Being able to have solid conversation with someone during the intermittent periods is important because of that brief 9 month period.


Playful optimistic leader types are right up the Carles back alley.

Imagine getting saucy in a large inflated ball while bouncing around a crowd of 3,000.

It’s okay! Don’t be embarrassed in your own imagination.

Having a good personality to boot really does hammer it in for a fantasy worthy man. In between pregnancies it might be nice to go out for a giggle. Ya know what I’m saying?


And really, who can resist a musician?

Well.  My love has returned it’s time to leave the world of fantasy and get into dreamland.

pleasant dreams

successful planning

It’s always good to at least attempt to define that which you are attempting to perform/ create/ whatever. Hypothesize.

It makes the whole doing process a lot easier. Right?

For example, on a camping trip in northern Michigan, three of my fav fellow tourists and I arrived at a place called  The Party Store.

Before exiting the coché my friend known here as YES says So, what’s the plan?

The rest of us start grumbling loudly:  Who needs a plan to walk into a convenient store?

Which technically was all that it was, but it was sort of convenient store you find in northern Michigan that is family owned, has a public bathroom with one toilet, sells pizza & popcorn & any sort of booze you could think to drink, plus an array of other items that could be used while being in the local area. It was also the only store with any sort of supplies above soda. We were also the first  to arrive from a party of more than 30.

My plan was to use the bathroom facilities to the greatest possible extent– and I did.

2+ hours later we finally met back up in the parking lot and went along our merry way. Technically, we got logassed.

What happened in those two hours is not worth discussing, I don’t even really remember to tell it.  I do feel strongly however, that the mere fact that each individual person in the party also used the bathroom to its greatest capacity may have had a hand in our short trip lasting so long.

The point is:  action without planning leads to chaos, confusion and failure. Action with planning could lead to success.

This post isn’t really about planning though, it’s about defining. Demonstrating to YOU that I do in fact have a plan.

So, let’s begin by reading this article: Why some women can’t reach vaginal orgasm during intercourse.

Be aware, there is at least one grammar error and I believe it’s in the first paragraph.)  It’s also written by a college student. Don’t ask me to get into that.

Note: It is not what I would consider a well written article. It does not exactly lay out a good argument, nor does it actually follow good format- BUT the subject matter is worth diving into.

[Also, I happened across it & it is April. In April,  wear BLACK on Thursday to signify that the violence must STOP.

Violence against women, children, men, animals, the environment (it is Earth Day month), people of a different race or culture, technology that doesn’t do as we please, in language, or even to our SELF first begins with what is held in our mind. ]

– this particular April works well for this campaign –

The violence stops once we acknowledge that what we hold to be true may not be true. To do so we: question it, dissect it, and allow the feelings of others to weigh in on our thoughts. Essentially, we work to gain understanding and live to act on it.

Lou Paget,  sex educator / sex expert.  Who is knowledgeable, sexy and sexual— states over and over that “you must know yourself FIRST.”

She says it numerous ways in a very frank manner so that you understand that there is also a purpose and function to being aware of yourself.

Read one of her books, you’ll probably dig it more than you dig this blog.  Pick any one that suits your fancy. It will be well worth it!

What she is really saying is: one must masturbate and gain an understanding of how the body derives pleasure, in order to gain satisfactory pleasure from someone else. I’m also not going to argue this point either.

To back up my points though, here is the line I gave in the Vagina Monologues:


The clitoris is pure in purpose. It is the only organ in the body designed purely for pleasure. The clitoris is simply a bundle of nerves: 8,000 nerve fibers to be precise.

That’s a higher concentration of nerve fibers than is found anywhere else in the body. Including the fingertips, lips, and tongue, and it is TWICE… TWICE… TWICE the number (of nerves) in the penis.

Who needs a handgun when you’ve got a semiautomatic.

[WA- POW!]

The mic did in fact crap out for the rest of the performance after I gave this one Vagina Fact.

I’ll admit I’m a bit hesitant to BLOG about the clitoris and vagina’s. (People at work might look @ me funny).  That’s their problem though really. At least, that’s what I’ve decided.

It’s also the reason I’m writing Fantasy Worthy Men. Because even though I’m tired of talking- I realize that talking is necessary to get the thought process moving. Or vibrators vibing. : )

cutting edge of sexy

What I’m most concerned with is just making sure people are comfortable with SEX. Our own sexualities. Ourselves as sexual beings. In order for any of that to happen we must first and foremost be comfortable with our SELF.

And, I LOVE talking about SEX.

Doing it can be pretty good too! It isn’t always. At present I’m more keen on understanding my own thoughts and feelings toward SEX than I am having it.

Fantasy Worthy Men is an expression and exploration of my sexual self while abstaining from the actual act of SEX.